For example, the fantasy of a woman decked out in a leather corset and knee-high boots tying a man to the bed might be appealing, but the reality of a high-income executive belittling a house-husband isn’t exactly a fantasy worthy of pursuit. Or is it?
For those men who eroticize the dominant female, how do you see it panning out in reality?
for reference: http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/features/n_9495/?imw=Y&f=most-emailed-24h10
The problem with dominant women in real life, is they only want RIGHTS but never Responsibility.
So men who fantasize "Dominant" women, end up being nothing but a door mat or a slave laborer.
They don’t even get sex. so they would be a dying off generation.
Excerpt: Ibid
"For women, the shift in economic power gives them new choices, not least among them the ability to reappraise their partner. And husbands, for their part, may find to their chagrin that being financially dependent isn’t exactly a turn-on. According to psychologists (and divorce lawyers) who see couples struggling with such changes, many relationships follow the same pattern. First, the wife starts to lose respect for her husband, then he begins to feel emasculated, and then sex dwindles to a full stop."
March 6th, 2011 at 12:08 am
The fantasy of a "dominant woman" is a misnomer in many ways-
the women in question are conventionally attractive (thin, shaven, long-haired, etc)
and they’re doing things to a man that would get him off or at least arouse him.
These fantasies aren’t about truly autonomous, unique women who force men to do things they dislike.
While it is the woman in control of the man in the fantasy,
the FANTASY is controlled by the man.
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March 6th, 2011 at 12:29 am
The problem with dominant women in real life, is they only want RIGHTS but never Responsibility.
So men who fantasize "Dominant" women, end up being nothing but a door mat or a slave laborer.
They don’t even get sex. so they would be a dying off generation.
Excerpt: Ibid
"For women, the shift in economic power gives them new choices, not least among them the ability to reappraise their partner. And husbands, for their part, may find to their chagrin that being financially dependent isn’t exactly a turn-on. According to psychologists (and divorce lawyers) who see couples struggling with such changes, many relationships follow the same pattern. First, the wife starts to lose respect for her husband, then he begins to feel emasculated, and then sex dwindles to a full stop."
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March 6th, 2011 at 1:05 am
I just envision my balls getting hurt somewhere in there.
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March 6th, 2011 at 1:45 am
I don’t have a problem with it at all. But then, there’s a difference between a woman who is confident, capable, assertive, and passionate, and one who a bitter, angry, overcompensating, and aggressive.
It’s possible for a woman to be dominant and still be in a mutually respectful relationship.
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March 6th, 2011 at 2:30 am
Because these same men are weak minded Omega Males, rather than Beta
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March 6th, 2011 at 3:12 am
Men want dominant women in the bedroom but not in the rest of the house…. The rest of the house comes first which just annoys him!
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March 6th, 2011 at 3:26 am
Being a dominant female in the bedroom is fun.
In everyday life if a guy lets me just walk all over him then hes not much of a man. Its also boring.
I actually thrive on the power struggle between who’s more dominant. I really do like the guy to be more dominant, though I would never let him know it.
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lol Myself
March 6th, 2011 at 4:05 am
Well, my mother was one of those. She’s very able, but when she’s with her husband in public, she turns meek. It’s very misleading because she’s anything but that in the house. However, my father loves her for all that. She runs the house very well, though she’s no housewife and he knows how to get on her good side when she’s angry.
Many men change their minds after marrying though, because they decide that they don’t like to be bossed around that much. It’s a fetish, but fetishes are not supposed to be reality (like those super high heels, yes, they’re awesome, but would you wear it everyday?), if a person is put on leash on a daily basis, they’d lose self-esteem and get irritated. My father is an exception, he loves it that my mother takes the charge and responsibility of most things, it means less work for him.
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March 6th, 2011 at 4:39 am
This is the whole thing with sexual fantasy – it only relates to sex and trying to bring it into the rest of life does not work. It is sexy to a lot of people to be dominated in bed but few of us want to be told what to do, say, think, wear in the rest of life. Jobs do not come into it. When you have a high income executive and a house husband either of them could be a dominant personality. The same is true of housewives and successful men – the woman could still be more dominant.
In our marriage I am sexually submissive but tend to be more opinionated and make more decisions about our day to day life because my husband is very easy going and does not care about a lot of it. This does not equal me being dominant tho – when he wants to do something or buy something we nearly always do that because it is seldom he does express a preference. This year he got a motorbike which is the most expensive thing either of us has bought from our joint account and he nearly always picks our holidays. Financially he earns slightly more than me because he does more hours and I work round school hours but i earn more an hour – this has not always been the case and does not affect the dominant submissive thing at all.
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