I occasionally have to travel to other offices in my company. I’m a technical guy, so this usually involves some meetings discussing the installation of a new computer system, etc. Sometimes I’m by myself, other times I’m with a few other people. It usually involves at least an overnight stay.
The problem is that the manager at the remote office usually wants to take us out for drinks and dinner. Apparently this is a tradition at this company, to treat visitors to the office in this way. I appreciate the gesture, but I almost always beg off, saying I’m tired from the plane trip. In reality, I just need a break from dealing with all these new people all day long (even though they are very nice) – I get too exhausted having to deal with them through my dinner and into the night too. So I’ll head back to the hotel bar/restaraunt for a leasurly dinner by myself with a book and then get some sleep.
Recently my manager got some negative feedback from a manager at one of the offices that I frequently visit. The other manager made a lighthearted comment about me always turning in early. My manager took it much more seriously, and told me that I should never turn down the invitation to go out after work, that we needed to buikld bridges with these offices. I argued that we did just fine by travelling all the way out there to meet them face to face, why did I need to spend my personal time with them too? Unfortunately I lost the argument.
What do you think? I’m a computer guy, not some executive level schmoozer.
Let me add that I am not interested in being promoted above my current position. The only place I have to go is into management, and I don’t want that. So I’m no looking to climb the corporate ladder.
One way to sabotage your career. Or in other words, yes you have to socialize and it’s not just for the schmoozers.
"Computer guys" are often introverts, and working with people all day (like you describe) can be extremely draining. However, having a good working relationship with other offices may help you at some point in your career. For example, if something went wrong there and you could call and ask a "friend" for a favor that would keep you from having to travel. Or when you look for a new job (which may be soon if you keep avoiding the social aspect) you need a network and you never know when that manager may know of a great opportunity.
Try this – next time they invite you out say you would love to have dinner but you are tired from the trip/time change/etc. and ask if you can do an early dinner? Or if you have family back home say you need to check in with your family at (for example) 8 pm, so can you do an early dinner and be back at your hotel by then. Or try the opposite. Tell them you have a conference call from 5-7 and can you meet them for dinner at 7:30. Then take the 2 hours as quiet time to unwind, then psych yourself up for dinner.
February 26th, 2010 at 4:14 am
You should socialize. Sometimes doing things a little different than normal makes you feel good. You should try it. I am not a socializer either, but sometimes I smile and say hi to strangers and it feels good.
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February 26th, 2010 at 5:00 am
If you don’t schmooze, you lose. I agree with your boss.
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February 26th, 2010 at 5:24 am
Dude, I too am a computer guy with the same sort of issues that you have. I have found that for the sake of my career, I must attend these "social" functions. Think of it as investing in your future. You may not get anything out of the dinner situation at this point but you may cross paths at a later date either with this company or another. My advice, suck it up and be cordial. Just don’t over do the drinks.
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my experience.
February 26th, 2010 at 5:53 am
One way to sabotage your career. Or in other words, yes you have to socialize and it’s not just for the schmoozers.
"Computer guys" are often introverts, and working with people all day (like you describe) can be extremely draining. However, having a good working relationship with other offices may help you at some point in your career. For example, if something went wrong there and you could call and ask a "friend" for a favor that would keep you from having to travel. Or when you look for a new job (which may be soon if you keep avoiding the social aspect) you need a network and you never know when that manager may know of a great opportunity.
Try this – next time they invite you out say you would love to have dinner but you are tired from the trip/time change/etc. and ask if you can do an early dinner? Or if you have family back home say you need to check in with your family at (for example) 8 pm, so can you do an early dinner and be back at your hotel by then. Or try the opposite. Tell them you have a conference call from 5-7 and can you meet them for dinner at 7:30. Then take the 2 hours as quiet time to unwind, then psych yourself up for dinner.
References :
February 26th, 2010 at 6:04 am
Try to figure out a way to enjoy it, ask to go someplace different. Maybe a karaoke place. In these days of uncertain job security you need to make nice with customers, you might need to go to them for a j o b.
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